Ghosts of teachers past #28days day25

As I look back on my school days, there are 3 types of teachers I remember - the ones I loved and the ones I 'didn't love'. The teachers I loved were friendly, kind, vibrant. Then there were the teachers I call 'inbetweeners', they were adequate. Of all my teachers, the majority feature on the 'adequate, I have to really think hard to remember their names, what they taught and any other information I can try wrack from my memory' list. It is sad to think that not a larger majority featured on the 'awesome list'. Though, I am pleased that the teachers who I believe 'failed' me, are a minority. 

My most vivid memory of this teacher was my grade 5 teacher. I was terrified of her, she was always yelling. She reminded us often that we were like a bunch of jellyfish (I am not entirely sure what it meant, but it was not a good thing being a jellyfish!) and her other favourite saying was that getting anything out of us was 'like drawing blood out of a stone'. I don't think anyone contributed because we were so scared. My marks went down, I looked forward to getting to subjects we had with other teachers just so I could feel a little more at ease. That was more than 25 years ago, but I have clear memories of how I felt, the fear and dread I felt when I arrived in class, never knowing when the volcano might erupt and afraid to get the work wrong in case I got into trouble. I lived year 5 in a constant state of fear and anxiety. My peers did as well. I felt flat and on edge. My day was dominated with feelings of negativity and inadequacy. As I got older, I often wondered why this teacher even considered teaching. It is amazing though, that these memories are still with me and have defined me to an extent.

All I hope for as a teacher is to touch someone's life and make them passionate about learning, to know that I truly care. I don't want to be adequate. There are days when I feel I fail my students, but I reflect and hope that I can challenge and inspire them. We respond differently to different teachers and I realise that personality and subject matter also play a role, but for the most part, I hope that if my students look back, they remember me and remember for being passionate, kind and teaching them something they remember. I want them to know that I value them for who they are, that I know there is more to them than the walls of my classroom and that when they look back at their past one day, that their memories are good ones, of inspiration, hope and challenge.